Life of being a Bonus Mama
The Highs of being a Bonus Mama
Being a bonus mama may be the greatest blessing God has ever given me.
My bonus kiddos are the kindest and most creative humans. Kiddos will better you and make your heart so full in many different ways you never even thought possible.
That’s not to say that being a bonus mama is easy peasy… It’s definitely not without its challenges.. And to clarify, the hard challenging parts of being a bonus parent are not because of my bonus kiddos..
It’s not always a smooth roller coaster, let me tell ya!
Many external factors come into play when dealing with the other parent.. I’ve had to step up in my role as the bonus mama, handle society’s perception of my blended family, navigate conflicts delicately, honor boundaries… and to be honest? Most days it feels like I’m on a tight rope balancing kindness, love, respect, and responsibility.
Putting aside your own feelings…
No one tells you that being a bonus mama means constantly putting your feelings on the back burner. As the non - biological mama, I have constantly tried to put myself into her shoes and allow myself to think over how each situation might be affecting her.
From the very first holiday to even our current holidays, that I have been blessed to spend with the kids, I have always encouraged them to handwrite notes, send Mother’s Day cards, Christmas cards, pictures, hand made gifts, etc.. Because I know how much I hold dear and cherish each and every thing they have made for me.. So I try to do what I would like done for me..
Now that’s not to say that it’s all sunshine and rainbows and she reciprocates the same feeling… Sometimes when you bite down on the apple, it’s not sweet, it’s just plain bitter.
But, I try my best to process my emotions properly in my own personal time and put my feelings aside so I can be the best version of me for the kids.. And at the end of the day, that’s what it’s really about is the kids.
Maintaining a Long-Distance Relationship
While we don’t live close, we live about 21 hours aways from the kiddos, we FaceTime, text every single day, send audio messages, pictures, and videos, write cards back and forth, send holiday care packages for the holidays we don’t get to spend together, and we make it work!
While it isn’t always easy being so far apart, I hold on to the precious memories we get to make with them every time we’re back together.
